Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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