I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
