Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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