Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
