i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
