my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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