my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
