We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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