I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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