she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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