i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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