i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
