we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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