For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
