PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
