She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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