Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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