i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
