I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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