are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
