I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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