I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
All the doctor said was why
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
