Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
