party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
