I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
