Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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