i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
