hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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