you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
