Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
