i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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