I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have aggressive nipples.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
