It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
