Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
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Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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