we're blogging at a bar
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
