I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
