I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
