Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
