To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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