ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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