I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
