I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
