i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
