are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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