HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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