i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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