Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
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if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
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..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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