Your dad touched me again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
