I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
