i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
