first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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