Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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