I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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