im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's rum buckets o'clock
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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