I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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