NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
