My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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