at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize