The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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