it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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