I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
whose ass print is on the piano?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
