dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Ketchup is God's man juice
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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