Don't you send me to vm
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Couch. On fire.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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