So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
