you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You took a bar mat shot.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
