Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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