I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
