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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.

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• (619): View more from California

  He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times

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• (845): View more from New York

  He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.

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