hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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