To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
